Life’s hidden pathways

Yesterday was a good day. I went for a walk with my sister, mum and two nephews; just to blow off the cobwebs.

We ended up at the local cemetery of all places.

After our walking and talking about our lives and laughing and joking with Zachary and Kaden (my two whirlwind nephews), Yasmin (my older sister) went into the shop for some flowers to take to the cemetery. My mum joined her. I had left my purse at home as I didn’t realise we were going anywhere that I would need money, so I held the fort with Zac and Kaden (or rather watched them kick each other from the safety of their prams).

Anyway, we walked up the hill to the cemetery and I suddenly realised that it had almost been a year since I was last here; when my uncle died. Almost a year since the cause of my wake up call and jolt into reality that, if things didn’t change, then I would be going the same way.

I asked Yasmin if Zac knew what the place was and my mum perfectly explained, ‘ This is where the angels live isn’t it Zac?’  He responded with an automatic yes like he does when we ask him if he’s hungry.

We visited my grand parents and watched as my mum put down her flowers and tidied up. Then we made our way round to see the new headstone that had been placed on my uncle’s grave. It was beautiful. As I stared at the stone, I remembered the day he died and the whole reason I started on this healthy lifestyle path for the last time. I wondered what he would say if he were here, looking at me and my mum and what we have achieved in just less than a year.

Life can be cut short in an instant. We go through our routines in our daily lives but never really live each day to the fullest. This encounter reminded me of how much work I have put in this past year to become a happier and healthier version of myself and to enjoy life without the constraints of being out of breath constantly, for example. I only wish I had started this blog this time last year to document my progress and spur me on a bit. Over the next few posts, I will dig out some photos and post them to give a better idea of where I’ve come from and where I am so far, in the hope that it may inspire a few others to do the same.

My motivation for weight loss has not been for vanity; it is for my health and at pushing 22 stone and 5ft 5, that was at great risk. But now, I am 17 stone dead and although I have a long way to go, I am dead proud of how far I have come in less than a year.

Anyone can diet but to truly change your entire lifestyle; a learned and routine behaviour that you have probably been in for most of your life; that is really hard. I still find it hard and am by no means preaching how fantastic I am because I am still morbidly obese.I still have a long way to go but this small victory means a lot to me and encourages me to keep going, not only for my family, but for me.




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